he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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