Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
