I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
