ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize