Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
