She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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