Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
