what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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