When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
