Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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