8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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