somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
