see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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