sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
