Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize