yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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