How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize