I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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