i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
