come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
