You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
