rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
