eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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