I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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