16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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