after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
