watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
