btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
