i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
