You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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