If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
