Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
