He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
