U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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