I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
