I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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