actually, I'm a sock model
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I believe in your delicious
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
