honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
