Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
