David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
