is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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