very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pants are for mortals
Nobody cheats on THIS.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
