Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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