i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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