I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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