We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
