i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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