he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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