forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
