i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
