so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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