at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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