finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
