I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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