Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sext me about skeletons
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
