This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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