seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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