I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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