Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
