end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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