shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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